Smells like bad music

I moved house last week and mostly survived. However, I managed to miss a chance to time travel over at Kate's, which is most unfortunate. I will express contrition by admitting to ownership of the following five albums in my younger and more impressionable days:

1. Please Hammer, Don't Hurt 'em by MC Hammer of Hammer pants fame. That's right: Hammer time. Hammer pants. Say it ten times with a straight face and you get a cookie. 
2. Tiffany by er, Tiffany. Nabbed this one from my sister. So I blame her. 
3. Teaser and the Firecat by Cat Stevens. The soundtrack of my childhood, and still very close to my heart.  
4. Siamese Dream Smashing Pumpkins. Good old meat and potatoes adolescent angst.  
5. Nevermind by Nirvana. Absolves me for Hammer time, I like to think.

In other news, and in spite of my appalling taste in music, the lovely Molly of Mother's Always Right (who is in fact always correct, especially when it comes to libraries) nominated me for a Kreative Blogger award back in the mists of pre-move time. Thank you Molly! 

As per the terms of the award, I am foisting my autograph on everyone I meet - they are mostly being polite about this - and have just compiled a list of factoids about me: 

1. I blame the Hammer time episode on a corruptive primary school friend, who really ought to have known better. 
2. I am not currently listening to MC Hammer. 
3. I don't actually wear Hammer pants, nor have I ever done so, although I did once wear moon boots. 
4. Any residual psychological damage from owning Please Hammer, Don't Hurt 'em is being dealt with by a trained professional seal in regular therapy sessions. 
5. My lawyer will pursue legal action against anyone who tries to infer that I still listen to Hammer tunes, or indeed wear Hammer pants. 
6. I played the trumpet in high school. 
7. And the bass drum. 
8. And twirled a flag in the flag corps. 
9. Of a marching band. 
10. But not all at once. Even I can't touch that. 

As per term two, here is a list of some wonderful bloggers I highly recommend: 

1. Positive Complaining
2. Working Berlin Mum
3. Simply Hayley
4. SAHM Loving It
5. A Matter of Choice
6. Qwerty Mum
7. I Need Curtains for the Window In My Head
8. Super Amazing Mum
9. Geeky Mummy
10. Edspire (Esther and William in the World)

All - thanks for sharing your work - it is such fun to read your blogs. Please pass the award on if, when, and how you see fit. As per the legalese, remember that use of this award is entirely at your own risk. The award should be supervised by a responsible adult at all times. And if you experience dizziness or nausea, you should consult your doctor immediately, or alternately take a break from thinking so darn much about the award. 

Bitte, baby

The marvellous Kerry On Living, a fellow linguist and expert in free will, has just awarded Mañana Mama the Liebster award - thank you Kerry! The staff here at Chaos HQ are currently expressing their excitement by lobbing toasting fruit shoots.

I want to pass on the good will, so I'm raising a fruit shoot toast* to a handful of my favourite bloggers.

Heart to heart. 

Bibsey A warm, witty account of 'life after birth' in expat Spain. Featuring Cava bubble baths and bums lost in translation. May inspire feelings of sunshine-lust and blog-design-envy.

A Scandinavian Sojourn Delightful tales of the unexpected from a British mum in Denmark, a land untouched by Marmite. With appearances by pancake kings, garden variety deer and other wonderful stuff.

Dummies and Dog Hairs The adventures of two toddlers, two canines, and two harassed parents in a confined space - and yet a very soothing read - like stepping into a warm auntie's kitchen that smells of freshly baked bread and is hung with beautiful family photos.

Mummy at the School Gate A fun read by a mum of three who is 'just about existing' in spite of pirate policemen, a total loss of cleaning mojo, and various other stuff.

Mad Geek Mommy A loving portrait of a delightful little boy who really, really loves his cheerios.

To all of the above - it is a pleasure to read your work, thanks for sharing it. Here are some recommendations for how to accept and spread the award, should you feel inclined to do so:

1. Create a blog post about the award. Include the Liebster image and a link back to me.
2. Choose and notify 3-5 of your favourite bloggers to pass the award on to, with an eye towards bringing new or lesser-known bloggers to light. 
3. Sit back, basking in the warm Liebster glow, and toasting with fruit shoots.  

*No actual fruit shoots were harmed in the writing of this nonsense. This post is not sponsored by fruit generally or specifically...or by shooting.

Flying in thunderstorms

February in England, and in the overworked insult to injury department, it's raining. No thunder, no lightning, no terrifyingly beautiful thunderheads, just drizzle. Blerg above, blerg below, a generous helping of blerg on the side. 

 But on the bright side, the lovely Polish Mama on the Prairie has given Mañana Mama the Versatile Blogger Award - high praise indeed for an old stuck-in-a-rut type like me - thank you Polish Mama. As per the terms of the honour, here follow three mostly true trivialities about me (more versatile bloggers than I go for seven, but I'll stick to three to save on reader eye-strain).  

Firstly, I am a bookish* Lutheran from a Catholic town, which means that I am contractually obliged to regard Garrison Keillor as the patron saint of English majors everywhere.

Secondly, Cassiopeia is my favourite constellation in all of the big, black night sky. Sometimes I step outside, close my eyes, and picture Cassiopeia etched on the backs of my eyelids. Before you call me a wierdo, remember I live in Britain, where 'looking at the stars' is an old Scots phrase that means 'use your flipping imagination'. 

And lastly, a rambling childhood ghost** resurrected in my mind by the pitter-patter of little raindrops outside.
I grew up down a bumpy dirt road that crossed an arroyo by way of a dirt bridge*** with a tin culvert in the middle. One summer thunderclouds rolled over the llano in June and didn't leave until September. And one afternoon in that monsoon summer it rained - as per my favourite agricultural phrase -  like a cow pissing on a flat rock. A torrent of angry muddy water filled the arroyo and then - with a terrifying boom - blew the culvert clear out of the bridge like a cannon shot. When the flood subsided we found the culvert farther down the arroyo, washed up like a sad, beached corrugated whale in a sand bank. And there is stayed for years. 

There were huge, lush, neon-green weeds everywhere that summer, covered in velvety black caterpillars - a bit of a fluke in the high desert. In June a flotilla of construction vehicles descended on the neighbourhood to widen the narrow highway that connected our culvert-less dirt road to town. The builders paved the new stretch of road parallel to the old one, working hard all morning to drop tools by late afternoon. In the quiet evenings, my dad and I would sneak into the site armed with a pink bike and a set of training wheels, and he taught me how to ride.

The tarmac was so smooth, smoother than the proverbial baby's backside, and while I peddled like mad down the newborn road, wind in my face, the smell of the warmed summer earth and car exhaust in my nose, I used to shut my eyes and pretend I was flying.

On a good day, that's what it feels like to sit down to plonk out some nonsense on a keyboard. 

Learning to fly, ain't got wings. 

Anyway, in the spirit of versatility, and for any reader left awake, here's a handful of the wonderful stuff I like to read, when not otherwise occupied with imaginary stargazing and a Prairie Home Companion.

• Imperfect Pages Notes on motherhood and the gazillion things in orbit around it. 
• Life in the Country The antidote for the stuck-in-the-city blues.  
• Bod for Tea Delightful musings on being a mama and eating glorious food.
• Cranky Monkeys in London Witty dispatches on monkey-rearing in the big smoke. 
• This Mid 30s Life Hilarity penned with the help of an extremely important celebrity sidekick.  
• OneArmGirl Traveller, philosopher, eye-witness to the culvert incident.  
• Cinnamon and Truffle A transatlantic sisterhood of positive energy and edibles. 
• Kate Takes 5 Frank and funny postings from a listography superhero. 
• Jenny Matlock A tangential queen.
• A Muddled Mother Resonant insights into the front line of the 'get me out of here' school of parenting.  

To all the above: it is always such a pleasure to read your work - thank you for sharing it. Please feel free to pass on the versatility bug (or not) as, if and when you see fit.

In the meantime, rain, rain go away.

*A devastating condition for which there is no known cure.
**Really quite rambling, so permission granted to commence TLDR now.
***You may have noticed a general 'dirt' theme at work in my life by now.