Half term blues

Schools and pre-schools in my corner of England shut their doors with a terrifying crash on Friday for half term break. Half term is the longest week of the season, a time when parents across the land huddle together for warmth at local petting zoos and museums, grumbling in queues to show solidarity, before amassing gratefully back at school gates on the Glorious Monday after. If you listen carefully on Glorious Monday you just might hear—over the parental 'Hallelujah' chorus—David Attenborough's soothing voice declaring an end to the great journey across green and pleasant museum-land.

Wildlife corridor.

But Glorious Monday is a week off and the great migration is in full swing. Two short people can't turn the tide, so today we are off on the museum current. I want to show Chaos and Destruction what some real monsters look like.