Thursday 14 July 2011

Blog and butter in the gutter

Chaos HQ was born into the virtual world a year ago today. This involved much swearing and plenty of ineffective pain relief. I'm pleased to report that life at Chaos HQ has brightened considerably since those dark sleepless days in the trenches of shape sorter land.

Thanks to all who have tirelessly read and suffered through the monthly milestones. Your Mañana Points, redeemable precisely nowhere, are in the post.

Over the past twelve months, Chaos HQ has learned to spatter-paint in sweet potato, cram utensils into light sockets, and perform numerous complex maneuvers out of 'The Exorcist.' Which is to say, Choas HQ was born into futillity and remains fully useless.

What to expect when you're past expecting?
Blogging has been great preventative medicine: I have completely failed to engage in more productive work. But I've managed to keep a few of my marbles, which was more than I expected. And it has been fun, if fraught with translation hazards and avoidable dangers.

I've re-connected with beloved friends and relatives an ocean away. I've met a handful of wonderful virtual people. I've learned to hate sort of tolerate only mildly hate Twitter.

In spite of slack editorial standards here at Chaos HQ, and out of the kindness of your hearts (or your concerns for my delicate mental state), you lovely people leave wonderful comments all the time. Thank you from the bottom of my grinchy heart: you make my day.

In the beginning, when the cursor first moved over the face of the blank page, I had such a strong grasp on good taste and privacy that I password-protected my blog and blocked it from search engines.

I was literally writing for no one. Lame, yes?

I soon realized that blogging for no one is like the sound of a typewriter falling over in a forest where no one can hear it BEING REALLY LAME. So I slowly I baby-stepped into the stream, out into the harsh glare of the interwebs. I learned to ride without midnight training wheels. I became audibly lame, which is far more rewarding.

Naval browsing.
Of course the best part of growing older is birthday cake and adult beverages. The next best part is that wise realisation that you haven't grown any wiser and likely never will. And the next-next best thing is the birthday blues: that period of reflection that accompanies the act of counting down our finite days on the ceaseless conveyor belt towards the great end. Similar to to New Year's resolutions, but without the excess hope and faith in one's ability to crash diet.

Now that I am toddling wide-eyed around this wide world, eating worms and smacking my head on trees, I find I've run out of steam a bit. What's it all for? Where's it going? Why is my child on fire? Why am I on fire?

Readers, robots, friends - I'd love to hear your thoughts. Failing thoughts, please send LULAS, whiskey and fruit shoots. Prioritise the whiskey. Stocks are running low.

As a side-note, I was pleased to discover that Chaos HQ and Woody Guthrie share the same birthday. My musically gifted other half introduced me to this wonderful Woody song, and I've adopted it as the new Chaos National Anthem to help me power through another year of blogging nonsense. God save us.



Now if you'll excuse me, my blog has just lit itself on fire and is throwing pasta again.

23 comments:

  1. Well, a very big tillykke med fødselsdagen til din blog (in other words, congratulations and a very happy first blog-birthday!)... Your blog always makes me laugh and has always been one of my favourites! Emma :)

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  2. Why thank you Emma, happy birthday looks much more impressive in Danish (and I'm sure my Danish Grandfather can advise me on how to pronounce it!). And thanks for reading and writing - it has been such a pleasure swapping blog stories with you this year. Can't wait to read your new adventures in yankee-land :)

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  3. Happy 1st blogoversary to you Rachel! I'm only sending you a pack of lulas and some whiskey when I receive my Mañana Points ;)

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  4. Congrats on you milestone. I remember the early days too. Blogging for no one but my dog, who quite frankly didn't give a rats a@@ about my blog. Things do change and it is such a great journal of this process.
    Thanks for following. Right back atcha!

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  5. Frankie Parker14 July 2011 at 15:15

    Another brillant post from Chaos HQ, a year old.. Well done and have a drink or two...

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  6. I'll drink to another year of blogging nonsense out of Chaos HQ. Happy 1st!

    BM
    x

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  7. Hey thanks lady! Been really fun swapping stories with you. Hope you are doing okay, sending hugs your way :)

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  8. Thank you FP! On my fourth drink already (sadly fruit shoots).

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  9. Greetings, thanks for stopping by, lovely to virtually meet you! Dogs can be so dismissive, I agree. Personally, I don't even run posts by mine anymore for fear that he will just roll his eyes and drool on it. Actually that's a lie: I don't have a dog :)

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  10. Thank you Heather! Been such fun getting to know you and your lovely blog over the past few months. As we type, I am frantically stuffing Mañana Points into an envelope and sending it your way...

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  11. I check up to see if you post about once a day, so this has been a great year for me Miss Mama! Thanks for all the clever insights, comic relief and teary eyes. I raise my mug of Tension Tamer tea to you and wish you another year of such fine writing. XO from Tanta

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  12. Thanks Tanta, what a sweet note, I am so glad that it has connected us over the miles. As Ali would say, a tea 'CHEEEERS' right bachatcha, thanks so much for reading and for your support and encouragement. Hugs :)

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  13. A whole year, well done you and Happy Birthday Chaos HQ! Looking forward to hearing all about your next year.... Whiskey on it's way but I'm holding back on the fruit shoots... They're not that good for you, the hard stuff much better I've found! ;-) Nat

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  14. Nat, you are always so wise - fruit shoots are murder on the teeth, it's true, which is why I'm on my fourth cup of whisky already (just kidding, coffee). Thank you for the well wishes :)

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  15. I love your blog. Happy one year anniversary! Keep it coming to brighten my days :) xx

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  16. Why thank you Lindsey - love your blog too - your comment just brightened my day :)

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  17. Such wit and humor. Another great blog! My favorite felicitation here is Happy Blogaversary! (BTW: on a serious note, in the [great] end, only eternity makes it worth it, makes sense of it, will set things right.)

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  18. Thank you Summer Rains - for reading, for your wonderful commentary, and most of all for your unflappable wisdom online and in real life. Hugs :)

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  19. Working London mummy17 July 2011 at 22:13

    Happy blog anniversary! I enjoy reading updates from Chaos HQ

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  20. Why thank you! Likewise love to read your blog - guest post on chili slowly in the works by the way, haven't forgotten :)

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  21. I'm a bit late but happy blog anniversary!

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  22. Why thanks Ella, lovely of you to stop by! Hope all's well in your world :)

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  23. I think a real interesting quote from the beginning. Squeeze
    the lemons into the water for flavor. Vai eik siihen riittisi, ett aostaa siemenet, bripottelee natural supplement
    for hypothyroid ne sinne plntille, ckastelee, dottaa joskus rikkaruohoja pois,
    ekorjaa sadon; D Oliski noin helppoa! Jesus christ I need to fill out a questionnaire that had nothing to do
    with anorexia. Al presente, APS ha contratado a seis.


    My site; Thyroid

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