Tuesday, 10 September 2013

Birthday letter

Dear Niece,

You are one. Hooray!

At this age, you may be battling certain frustrations, like:
  1. Aiming a spoon at the correct orifice. 
    It gets better...and worse. 
  2. Copious boogers vs precious little nose space. 
  3. A damp backside that remains stubbornly damp, even when you crawl like hell away from it. 
  4. Occasional abandonment by PARENT-GODS OF THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE. 
  5. Not having your own spaceship and CONTROL OF THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE. 
You have my sympathy. But trust me - there are many advantages to being the magical age of one. For instance:
  1. Your lack of spoon precision means that anti-cake diets are many years off. 
  2. When your nose runs, it is somebody else's problem. 
  3. You can pee anywhere without being arrested. Take it from this pregnant non-boy: this gets very complicated later on. 
  4. When PARENT-GODS OF THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE momentarily abandon you to take a grown-up pee (see item 3), they are sure to come back soon because you are that darned cute. 
  5. You don't have to make car payments on the spaceship. And in practice, running the ENTIRE UNIVERSE mostly involves washing crap and filling in forms. 
Happy birthday Nichte! May the year ahead bring you more spoon precision and fewer boogers.

With love always,



  1. Love this. And feel, on balance, that advantages outweigh the frustrations.

  2. Thanks lady - the not being responsible for your own boogers bit makes any frustration worth it, que no?

  3. So sweet! I would quite like to be one again sometimes! :)

  4. Thanks Emma - there are certainly worse ages to be, right?

  5. Hi! (It's been a while, but I'm back) You're pregnant, YAY! (I'm going to have to go and read some back posts now). I love one, I actually love all the ages until 6, when school starts and everyone's life gets sucked into the nightmare that is homework and real school, except for that awkward awake all the time but not yet mobile 6 months to a year old phase.
    (moomser - now at thebonnybard.com)

  6. Thanks lady - I agree that things get complicated around school time, even thought that's when they are supposed to get simpler...sigh.