Friday 18 February 2011

Adios Creepy Dog

Contrary to the normally downbeat editorial tone here at Chaos HQ, I am pleased to bring you a rare feel-good happy ending story - consider it the silly pet tale at the end of the grim evening newscast. You know, the one that leaves you grinning like an idiot and muttering 'aw shucks' even though the world is on fire in eleventy places.

You may recall that I recently embarked on massive toy purge that left Creepy Dog and his brethren bound for the tip. But at the eleventh hour, a lovely family decided to adopt him and a handful of the other doomed plastic cheep and nasties. I would tell you more about the family, but they are now in a witness protection program. Anyway, they wouldn't have time to respond to press queries because they are busy reading 'Cujo' and re-thinking their hasty adoption decision.
Pack your doggy bag. 
I can hardly believe my luck. Having finally managed to pass the curse on, I embark on a new chapter in my life. I've lived for so long with the curse that I am left with a sort of empty creepy nest feeling.

Happy trails Creepy Dog. Good luck new family - time and sanity allowing, I hope you will carry the creepy mantle and report back on the doings of your new, moderately psychopathic canine companion.
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12 comments:

  1. Unknown18 February 2011 at 18:18

    I weep for Creep Dog...

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  2. Emma18 February 2011 at 19:47

    Poor creepy dog... if only someone had told him that the jacket wasn't helping!

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  3. MellyBentley18 February 2011 at 21:11

    We also have that creepy dog! Evil creature. Kicked the toy box by accident on the way to bed. Getting to sleep, dark and silent. All of a sudden I hear from the next Room in a gruff devil like tone "Bye BYe!". aaahhhhh

    Die devil mutt!

    MellyBentley

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  4. summerrains18 February 2011 at 21:53

    Chuckle, chuckle!

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  5. Creepy Dog's foster carer18 February 2011 at 22:03

    I think that the move has broken Creepy Dog's heart or else he is trying to be on his best behaviour. So far we have not heard a single 'I see you' or 'I love you' from his corner. Instead he's been silently contemplating life and patiently waiting for the glorious hour when our little whirlwind will be old enough to descend on him and appreciate his creepiness, or more correctly, to tear him to shreds.

    Our little KirkinDu has been enjoying the other goodies we've got from you and so far Bumbo chair is her favourite (despite the inconvenience of having to stabilise her head) :)

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  6. A Farmer's Wife18 February 2011 at 22:37

    Why does creepy dog have blue ears? Does he have an issue with the blood supply to them?

    Have a great weekend!

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  7. Rachel19 February 2011 at 08:12

    Creepy Family! I am so pleased to hear that all's well at Creepy Foster HQ - perhaps he's turning a new page too...or just in evil hibernation-mode...watch out! I trust that Whirlwind will be a good match for his powers...head-chewing seems to counter his creepy 'I see you' type stuff very effectively.

    A Farmer's Wife, he is a cold blooded maniac, which I suspect is the issue with the ears. Or perhaps, as you point out Emma, he is so annoyed with his unfashionably coat that he has turned to the dark side?

    MellyBentley - I suggest getting your creepy devil mutt adopted asap, before he goes airborne or something. But Kathie, don't let him play at your heart-strings like that, or you may find yourself the new dog-eared adoptive owner of a nutter-mutt...at which point your only option would be to have him meet with an unfortunate Accident and Emergency.
    ~M

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  8. Imperfect Pages20 February 2011 at 07:38

    Our Creepy Dog will be sneaking out to the NCT sale in May. I posted about ours recently and had people from the US and Australia telling tales of it's sinister voice in the night - it's a worldwide phenomenon!

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  9. Anonymous20 February 2011 at 23:14

    Haha. I'm kind of torn between feeling sorry for this toy mutt and fretting that I'm now going to get attacked in my dreams by a giant blue-eared baskerville hound!

    Bizarrely funny post. ;)

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  10. Rachel21 February 2011 at 13:25

    Kirsty, I just found your letter to Creepy Dog (http://www.imperfectpages.com/2011/02/03/dear-so-and-so-to-the-toys/), and am feeling so much less alone as a Creepy Dog survivor now! I had no idea that he'd been such a busy little dog and annoyed people the world over like that.

    Beadzoid, do not pitty the evil dog, or you may end up taking him home from the NCT sale and becoming his next victim! And apologies if you do experience baskerville nightmares as a result of this post, I should've put a disclaimer on it...
    ~M

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  11. Mañana Mama10 June 2011 at 18:45

    Kirsty, I just found your letter to Creepy Dog (http://www.imperfectpages.com/2011/02/03/dear-so-and-so-to-the-toys/), and am feeling so much less alone as a Creepy Dog survivor now! I had no idea that he'd been such a busy little dog and annoyed people the world over like that.

    Beadzoid, do not pitty the evil dog, or you may end up taking him home from the NCT sale and becoming his next victim! And apologies if you do experience baskerville nightmares as a result of this post, I should've put a disclaimer on it...
    ~M

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  12. Beadzoid10 June 2011 at 18:45

    Haha. I'm kind of torn between feeling sorry for this toy mutt and fretting that I'm now going to get attacked in my dreams by a giant blue-eared baskerville hound!

    Bizarrely funny post. ;)

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