Thursday 24 February 2011

Plagued

I work a tough gig: 100-hour weeks, rubbish pay, no benefits, zero CV points. My boss has a Napoleon complex, and although I have a lovely, mature job-share counterpart, I also have an infantile colleague. The demands of my job leave no time for adopting any apparent hairstyle, or scrubbing that eternal ketchup spatter-pattern off my shirt. I get less respect than estate agents (impossible, I know) and I don't even have a water cooler to gossip around.

All fine by me. Really. I'm a tough cookie.

But there's one thing I can't abide about this job: no sick days. Not a one. You see, just like dignified humans with intentional hairstyles, even a mean, cranky mother like me gets truly gobsmackingly ill sometimes.
Help me 7UP, you're my only hope. 
Like last weekend, when I began to exhibit symptoms of the aforementioned gobsmacking plague, picked up at a wretched hive of germs and villainy, or 'playgroup' as it is known locally. My megalomaniac boss had no sympathy. My colleague could neither think outside the cereal box, nor collate lunch.

Things were looking dire. I began putting my affairs in order. But then my lovely job-share partner packed me off to bed and managed to gracefully placate both the colleague and the boss (the latter expressed her gratitude by flinging food and and sneering 'GOOGALIBABABA' in his general direction).

I am still feeling awfully sorry for myself, but thanks to the wonders of modern medicine and 7UP, the prognosis has improved from 'hopeless' to 'moderate blerg'.

The moral of this self-indulgent whine is: we all need somebody to lean on - especially us ketchup-spattered professionals in my tough line of work. Even a real toughie needs an occasional break from swimming with short sharks.

I really must inquire with my HR manager about flexible hours and work/life yadayada. Though I fear her response will be 'GOOGALIBABABABA!' and pasta-flinging.

10 comments:

  1. Here's hoping you feel better soon.

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  2. Oh nooo! Hope you're back to 100% soon.

    My aunt now has grown-up children, and she says she's so happy to be at her age because "I can enjoy all my ailments."
    x

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  3. Thanks AFW, me too! Anyway, Chaos and Destruction are losing patience for this feeling poorly business.

    Mid30s: your aunt gives me hope - I cannot wait to be a little older and have time to languish in my lurgies, and enjoy what ails me.

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  4. Urgh! The dreaded lurgy. I had it for 3 whole weeks and DD had it too. Nasty piece of work that one. Hope you're feeling better soon, and by the way I LOVE that photo! x

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  5. Brilliant! My job-share counterpart has been ill recently, and God has he milked it! The idea of me getting anywhere near the milking stool - talk about no sick days! Hope the litt'uns at least treat you 'as well' as an estate agent.

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  6. Hope you feel better soon.

    When you return to work and have that chat with your boss just remeber to duck

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  7. Hope you're up and running by now. I know the feeling. I always thought it was easier to take care of them when they were sick than when I was sick!

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  8. Sorry to hear you've been struck down with the plague. We've been that way around here for a month it seems. One thing after another. ANd no sick days??!! That's terrible. Here's hoping you feel better soon!

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  9. Thanks Zookeeper, Melly, Janna, and Naomi - feeling much better now actually - my only remaining symptom is a metric girth-load of self-pity - who knows when and if I will ever recover from that.

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  10. Hope you feel better soon.

    When you return to work and have that chat with your boss just remeber to duck

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