Sunday 20 March 2011

When (and if) I grow up

In a generous act that she will surely come to regret, the lovely Kate Takes 5 has taken up my listography suggestion for this week: things I want to be when I grow up.

Mummy, I'm home. 
I hang out with two short people all day. They leave me with a profound desire to fight back against kiddie entropy by cultivating grown-up habits. My research indicates that being a grown-up usually involves a respectable job, a non-imaginary pay-check, an almost perverse interest in salad, comfortably ugly slippers, and emotional pallet that extends beyond 'hungry', 'elated' and 'despondent'.

Frankly, I am ashamed to admit that growing up would be a major lifestyle change for me. So I'm taking the baby steps method. My first step is this list. Perhaps you'd like to join me and add your list below.
  1. Astronaut. In addition to being the obligatory childhood ambition, I hear that the infinite vacuum of space is largely tidy and er, spacious. That would be one giant leap for this woman.  
  2. Tightrope walker. I am currently an unpaid circus performer, so a swap to paid circus performer doesn't seem like much of a stretch. Plus, this has been a dream of mine since discovering Phillipe Petit and Man on a Wire.
  3. Filthy-rich layabout. I hear there are downsides, like a crushing sense of guilt and a propensity to collect poodles. But I've thought long and hard about it, and decided that I'm willing to hang out with any sort of dog if it means I get to sleep in and faff about. 
  4. Superhero. A fusion of the world's three best things: flying, do-goodery and dressing up. Unfortunately, most successful candidates begin their careers by falling into vats of battery acid or getting bitten by giant spiders. 
  5. Throat singerI'd be a heckava busker if I could master this sound. I'd never get rich, but I'd be the coolest thing on the underground.   
A very short rat race. 
Written down like this, it all sounds awfully scary and committal. I think I'd rather revert to chewing on furniture with Ali, running in sugar-high circles with Ana, and picking childish squabbles with my sister (kidding Tanta, stop hoarding all your best toys already).

Like this guy, I'll continue to put adulthood off...for now. 


19 comments:

  1. Love it. I think you've got it all covered - except for the one I told you you weren't allowed to have of course... Excellent list, excellent topic. Looking forward to the other entries!

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  2. Brilliant list! Love the way you write :-) Can't wait to get started xoxox

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  3. ha ha!! this made me laugh out loud esp the rich layabout! can't wait to read everyones! x

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  4. Ach, sorry Kate, good point! Although to be fair, my chances of seriously rocking out via the medium of tuva are about as remote as pluto is from the sun...er MUCH more remote than that.

    Thanks Alma, JoJo and Mid30s - you guys are welcome to show up and loaf around by my egregiously opulent pool when I am a filthy-rich git. Can't wait to read your lists!
    ~M

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  5. The throat singing thing is definitely one to try on the karaoke after a few bacardi and cokes xx

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  6. I'm with the rich layabout! I'd hang about with pretty much anyone! :-)

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  7. Err, Paul Pena... well I liked the horse! Great list.

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  8. ooh I want to be a filthy rick layabout too!!!! If you get there, tell me how please!! what a great idea for a list. I am going to create an extra hour in the day today to join in!
    XxX

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  9. Ghostwritermummy - you can create extra hours in the day??? Wow, please tell me how, I'll trade you filthy-rich layabout secrets (when I get there) in exchange!
    ~M

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  10. What a bloody brilliant list!!! You really made me laugh...in fact I think you should have added comedienne to that list...:) xxx

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  11. Hah, thanks, that would be AWESOME! Sadly I think my personality (cranky stage-frightened wallflower) probably disqualifies me from the comedy world.

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  12. Fab. I agree with all of that :)

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  13. Morning. Love this list esp the superhero do-goodery. I don't want to burst your bubble about the tidiness of space... but I feel bound to tell you that I heard that there is quite a lot of people-poo flying around up there. It seems that we humans are an untidy bunch wherever we go.

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  14. Nooooooo! Bibsey, my bubble is really, truly burst. I was okay with space junk, but not space poo - far too reminiscent of my day job.

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  15. ooh I want to be a filthy rick layabout too!!!! If you get there, tell me how please!! what a great idea for a list. I am going to create an extra hour in the day today to join in!
    XxX

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  16. Err, Paul Pena... well I liked the horse! Great list.

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  17. Fab. I agree with all of that :)

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