Thursday 14 April 2011

Under warranty

Dear reputable manufacturer of quality babies,

I am a loyal customer - I purchased two model CHAOS babies from you in under two years. I am writing to request that you collect my most recent purchase for repair, as I think it may have a defective fuse.

I was alerted to a problem this morning when eating breakfast became impossible due to a sudden lack of bowls. Perhaps foolishly, I then attempted to exit the house with both my models, and was thwarted by an absence of raincoats and shoes.

This afternoon, after a rather soggy morning, I located a stash of bowls, shoes and raincoats in the rubbish bin. Under precisely one ton of soggy coffee grounds. Your model appears to think that I am a total turnip, and claims to have nothing to do with it (and might I just point out at this juncture, that my coffee consumption habits are not the issue here).

As per section C, sub-clause RAP of your warranty, please do collect my model CHAOS baby at your nearest convenience for repair. I understand that sorting out a faulty bin-restraint mechanism may take time, so please don't feel compelled to return my model for say, eighteen years or so.

Regards,

Mama

PS: Please don't try to tell me that by taking my model CHAOS baby out of the box and actually engaging it with the outside world, I have somehow managed to void the warranty.

19 comments:

  1. Alternatively they could provide a bin that makes a scary noise when your model walks near it....!

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  2. I guess it's a good thing there aren't baby warranties ha ha ha...and thank you, now I don't feel so bad about my recent upgrade in coffee intake.

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  3. That's hilarious. We've been out of bowls lately, too, mainly because I foolishly attempted serving breakfast in porcelain bowl which promptly ended up on the floor in pieces ;). Every time.

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  4. That made me laugh! I lost my keys for days once, they had helpfully been put inside my wellies :-)

    Thanks for the comment on my post by the way :-)

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  5. Seriously, don't take any rubbish from the manufacturers. If they give you any trouble you should get in touch with Watchdog or Which? Baby.

    My model seems to have got stuck in a throwing-loaded-spoon-on-floor loop. I'm going to complain.

    BM
    x

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  6. Hahaha that made me laugh - a lot.

    Do they do warranties on CHAOS babies (and toddlers?)...if so, let me know...I may need to contact the manufacturer myself!

    x

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  7. ha ha ha ha ha ha GREAT post! So true, love it!!
    XxX

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  8. Love it. Send them round mine after? My second has a short fuse and keeps sparking.

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  9. Funny! Aren't they cute while they're driving you batty?

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  10. haha love it! my youngest has a thing about hiding sunglasses (in some pretty bloody clever places i must add) and then she produces them all at once at random times - when i say 'all' it's because we have to keep going out and buying new ones)

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  11. Hello, I'm back..nearly! The ab-sol-ute bane of my life is my fear that whatever I have lost (usually keys, glasses or wallet) has been dropped down one of my Brabantia bins (icky non-recyled with stinky nappies or slightly more palatable recycled). Why on earth hasn't the reputable company developed a toddler-proof catch that parents can add when their kids are at the dreaded 1-3 year old stage? Or will they become more sensible before 3? I have no idea!

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  12. The manufacturers of my babies not only provided faulty product but also failed to supply a manual. Now that is poor customer service if ever I have seen it x

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  13. I'm starting to understand now why manufacturers of cupboard locks also do fridge, toilet and bin locks...

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  14. LOL. Great post! If only such a clause did exist...

    Thanks for Rewinding at the Fibro.

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  15. Oh. Our number 3 is a freaking tornado on legs. A really street smart one. If there is such a thing as a street smart tornado. He has my husband I just looking at each other going, what. in. the. hell... Maybe the flipside he'll be a top teen??
    Great post, over from the Fibro x Bern

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  16. I never ceased to be amazed by your wit and your writing.

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  17. Oh. Our number 3 is a freaking tornado on legs. A really street smart one. If there is such a thing as a street smart tornado. He has my husband I just looking at each other going, what. in. the. hell... Maybe the flipside he'll be a top teen??
    Great post, over from the Fibro x Bern

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